Are you walking a little straighter, holding your head a little higher, meeting people's eyes — or deliberately avoiding them — a little more often?
Are you more you?
Or are you holding out for being right? Are you cherishing the grudges instead of reaching for love and freedom?
Are you more interested in watching others do what they do to you One More Time to prove you had their number all along, or are you up for a real relationship, one in which there are at least two points of view, always more to the story, no one is right and no one is wrong?
Where are you still choosing being right over being yourself, a whole person, complete with inconsistencies, looking inside while holding your own, truly available for intimacy with your self, your life, and the world around you?
Being present seems so simple but I’m wondering how often I’m even present when I’m alone and I have a lot of time alone since I’m not working. I feel present in nature. I think I can spend a lot of time distracting myself when alone. This is something I will sit with. How to tell if I’m present without judging.
It’s important to develop the habit of monitoring one’s state throughout the day, and equally important that it’s done without judgmentalness, as you pointed out.
Maybe combine checking in on your state with a hand to your heart to settle your nervous system. You’re less likely to be judgmental when your nervous system is balanced, self-regulated.
If by distracting yourself, you mean entertaining yourself, you could be present while distracting yourself. Being present has to do with the quality of awareness you bring to the moment.
This was very helpful and “the quality of awareness that I bring to the moment” hit me as I may have a variety of levels of awareness I’m bringing to the present depending on the moment. I think I wrote this response to another topic you discussed but put it under this one by mistake, but it still applies.
Pamela, this reply was helpful to me as well. I’ve been placing a hand on my heart frequently, throughout the day. It does calm my nervous system. And is so elegantly simple.
Thank you.
How can I tell the difference between holding a grudge and holding a boundary if I felt wronged by someone?
Boundaries aren’t a matter to be debated.
They’re not of the mind and they’re not about making people wrong, or getting back at them.
Nor are boundaries held; they’re honored.
Maybe there are emotions and stories to explore? Up for an extra heart-write? You can get extra credit 😆
Do you have any advice for how to heart write about something in particular? Ive noticed when I start writing with a particular topic in mind, it gets more contemplative/logical.
Good question, Andrea. You can’t heart-write about something in particular in a focused way. You can come up with an evocative prompt (read the instructions in the program materials) or you can start with something such as “I’m uncomfortable with…”
Heart-writing opens healing where we didn’t know we needed it, so coming at it in a focused way is counter-productive.
That’s also why it’s important to let your writing meander. That’s loosening the grip of your mind.
It feels like I am in this program for the first time. I have always considered intimacy to be with others. What stood out to me, reading this post this time is the very last line. Intimacy with myself, my life and the world around me.
Intimacy with myself. Where to start?
Start by being present ❤️
So simple yet so profound.